MST3K–11.06 Starcrash

When a movie is popular, it’s inevitable that other studios, or even other countries, make their own versions.

Then there’s Starcrash, an Italian knockoff which steals from Star Wars, especially it’s lightsabers. It features Marjoe Gortner, who went from being a very young evangelist to show biz, Christopher Plummer (yes, from the Sound of Music) and Caroline Munro, who spends much of the movie in a leather bikini clobbering bad guys.

Two smugglers, Akton and Stella, are caught in a space war between the Emperor (Plummer) and failed Freddy Mercury impersonator Zarth Arn who has Amazons and robots as his weapons. Our heroes get help from a robot with a Deep South accent for some reason, and a green-skinned guy who winds up betraying them.

They wind up finding the Emperor’s son played by David Hasslehoff (really), and get involved in the final battle that apparently involves crashing a floating city into Zarth’s lair.

Since the movie is a Star Wars ripoff, it makes sense Jonah would make a BB-Servo in his Invention Exchange, but the Lucasfilm lawyers pull a “cease and desist” quickly. It’s a chance for Jonah to play characters for a change. See him as Akton, getting hero worship from the bots:

Then see him as Zarth Arn in a “battle” that winds up as an SNL cold open with TWO sets of Crow and Servo. However, Jonah looks too much like Jon Oliver to be evil.

This puzzles the Mads, and start to suspect maybe bad movies won’t drive anyone crazy. They also get a visit from investor Freak Masterstroke, who hears their pitches for “fly-in drive-ins” and “lunar theme parks”. He shoots them down, and even thinks MST is lame because there’s no “second screen experience”. He says it can be replaced by apps, and he’s right about that.

Oh, and Freak is played by Jerry Seinfeld. This show has arrived.

RIFFS:

Opening shot of a fake Imperial Star Destroyer
They finally launched the Mall of America

We’re in the Evil Count’s domain
Sesame Street?

Next up, a mash-up of World War I…and dinosaurs.

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Post Author: David Mello

Worked nearly eleven years at a radio station as a board operator, news reader, and assistant producer for baseball broadcasts. Have been a staff writer for Whedonopolis since July 2008

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