We start with the “Then” flashback showing Sam and Dean fighting over trust, Sam talking about falling off the wagon, their recent separation, Lucifer coming to Sam, Zachariah explaining to Dean that he’s Michael’s vessel, and the brothers’ recent reunion. That’s a decent amount of stuff chocked in there, so let’s see how this episode fits it all in.

Now, we find two friends, Jim and Cal, coming into a garage to show off a gorgeous little Porsche, James Dean’s Little Bastard. After fawning over the car a bit, Cal is about to start the car when Jim says they need to record the moment for prosperity. While Jim runs out, Cal sits in the car when…you can see his breath and the radio goes off. OMG, we’ve not see that kind of thing in a while. That can’t be good, not at all! We then hear the car rev up, followed by a crash. Oooohhhh crapola. Then Jim speeds into the room, camera rolling…and HOLY CRAP, Cal’s face has been sliced into by the shattered windshield, and blood is EVERYWHERE! EW!

We then find the boys driving in the Impala…just like old times. Sam asks why they’re taking this job while Dean says the apocalypse will still be there. Apparently they’ve been looking for the Colt for three weeks and have found nothing, sadly. When Sam presses further about it, Dean cuts him off, saying it’s what they’re doing, end of discussion. That’s kind of unlike Dean, to be so short, but I guess even three weeks hasn’t really mended anything. Dean says since it’s their first case together since their divorce, they need to ease back into it, and they both need training wheels, as a team. Dean also wants it to be a fresh start. That doesn’t seem unreasonable to me, honestly.

We then find the boys in Canton, Ohio (the Heroes of Canton?) where the boys masquerade as FBI agents and meet the local sheriff. In a nice change of pace, the sheriff of this town seems a might clueless, thinking Cal’s friend Jim is the murderer because he “taped his own handiwork.” The boys don’t believe the sheriff’s theory, so they speak to Jim themselves. Jim tells them what he heard, blaming the car for Cal’s death. When Jim mentions that the car is Little Bastard, and the curse on it, Dean immediately recognizes it. Dean definitely wants to check it out, speaking to the car buff in all of us. We then see the bro’s at Cal’s house, looking at the car in question, while Dean explains the legend surrounding its curse. When Sam if it’s like Christine, Dean says Christine “is fiction, this is real.” I giggled at that. The boys then jack up the car to look at the engine number, wherein we get a drawn out sequence of Dean under the car trying to get the number. It’s funny in that Sam interrupts him, but overall this scene was, in my opinion, a tad longer than it needed to be. Dean then gives Sam the number so Sam can research the car, which makes Sam unhappy.

Sam then calls Dean — in a bar, mind you — to tell Dean that the car isn’t the actual Little Bastard. We then cut to Mr. Hill at his home, who ALSO breathes cold air. Holy crap! He then turns around to see…ABE LINCOLN?! Abe is pissed, growling and snarling like an animal. Abe then picks up Mr. Hill and…shoots him? Blood splatters all over the wall! Ew! We then find the sheriff at this new crime scene trying to find a “reasonable explanation” to Mr. Hill suffering a gunshot wound to the head with no fingerprints, gun or bullet casing left behind. Wow, this guy is truly a moron, as his “reasonable explanation” is a professional killer “like in Michael Clayton.” Apparently the only witness — Mr. Hill’s housekeeper, Consuela Alvarez — isn’t making sense in English or Spanish, according to the sheriff, but the boys talk to her anyway. Sam tries to speak some Spanish to her, and she explains she saw a tall man in a black coat with a beard and a tall hat. Apparently “Abraham Lincoln killed Mr. Hill,” she confirms to the boys. This is just getting weirder and weirder.

We then find both the boys — with two laptops now, mind you — in research mode. Dean is looking through the video from Jim’s video camera, and they catch a frame of something that looks like James Dean. Honestly, I looked at it and it looked like a blur to me, but whatever, if Dean and Sam confirm it, it must be so…I guess. Apparently there’s a ton of lore on famous ghosts, and in this case, these famous ghosts are killing their biggest fans. After wondering what the heck the ghosts are doing in Canton, Sam finds out about the Canton Wax Museum (House of Wax, get it? Ha Ha!), wherein statues of Lincoln, other presidents, and Ghandi. While Dean comments on Ghandi’s short stature (calling him a Smurf), Sam defends him as saying he was a great man.

The boys then meet the museum’s owner, who explains that both of the victims were regulars to the James Dean and Abraham Lincoln exhibits. The owner explains that the hat on Abe’s statues is his actual had, and they have James Dean’s keychain, Gandhi’s bifocals, FDR’s iron lung and so on, going on to talk about his new “hip” exhibit to try and get the Gen Y folks into the museum. Gee, I wonder which famous person, who’s a guest star on this week’s episode, could be included in that exhibit? The mind boggles…

Anyway, we find Sam at the Impala (yay!), going through the trunk and preparing their weapons for their outing back to the wax museum. Sam then comes in on Dean, talking on the phone about their current mission. When Dean mentions the apocalypse, he also says, “Well, we all know who’s fault that is.” Now an aside for a moment. This line jarred me a bit, as it didn’t seem to fit in with the story Dean was telling, or the way Dean usually talks. It’s also confusing…did Dean mean himself or Sam? Honestly it sounded a bit too…snarky for Dean’s usual banter, which threw me off. I wonder if it was put in their specifically so the boys could fight about it…

And fight they do, at least a little bit right now. Sam argues that this was supposed to be a fresh start, but Dean says this is as fresh as it gets, at least right now. Honestly this also felt a bit forced, and I couldn’t get behind any angstyness the show was trying to portray from either brother. Anyway, we find the boys back at the wax museum. Dean makes a joke about Abe’s hat and then goes off to grab James Dean’s keychain when…OMG the doors slam shut! That’s never good. Sam then breathes a cold breath and gets attacked by…GANDHI?! Wow, he’s a spunky little fellow! Dean bursts into find them fighting, then calling Ghandi “squirrelly.” Dean then burns Gandhi’s glasses, and Gandhi vanishes…but not in the usual firey outburst that we’re used to. That’s weird…

We then find the boys at the hotel, packing up. Sam also notices how weird Ghandi’s disappearance was, as well as how weird it was that Ghandi was trying to take a bite out of him…since he was a fruitarian. I’ve never heard of fruitarians, but whatever. While Sam doesn’t think it’s over, Dean thinks it is. Sam says “first you drag me into town and then you drag me out again.” Dean replies, “You ain’t driving this boat. Let’s go, chop chop.” Again, this seems a little off to me, but it leads into the main angsty argument of the episode…

Sam says it’s they’re not going to work, wondering how long he’s going to be on “double secret probation.” Sam is trying to climb out of his hole, but Dean isn’t making it easier on him. Dean wonders if he’s supposed to let Sam off the hook, while Sam says Dean will never punis
h him as much as he’s punishing himself. If they’re to be a team, Sam says, it has to be a two-way street. When Dean asks if they should go back to the way it was before, Sam says no, because it doesn’t worked, it never worked. The reason Sam went off with Ruby, he explains, was to get away from Dean because it made him feel strong, like he wasn’t his kid brother. Sam tells Dean he’s going to have to let him grow up…and you know what? He’s absolutely right, I think. This is probably one of the episode’s best moments.

Dean then gets a call, and find the sheriff confused in his office. He then finds two young girls crying about something…”I thought she’d be nice,” they say. The girls then tell the boys that Paris Hilton took her friend and vanished. This confuses the boys in that Paris Hilton isn’t dead, but she’s not a homicidal maniac either. We then find Sam at the morgue, doing some actual autopsy work on the victims. Gross! He does, however, find a seed in each of the victim’s bellies, as well as major blood loss, like something was feeding on them. Dean chides him, saying “Just when I thought you couldn’t get any geekier.” That was adorable.

Sam finds out that the seeds are from a forest in Eastern Europe that was protected by a pagan god, Leshi, that feeds on the blood of his fans. Apparently the only way to kill the god is to cut his head off with an iron axe. That sounds hilarious and gruesome, given the circumstances. We find the boys back in the wax museum, searching for Hilton/Leshi. The boys then find themselves in a closed-off section of the museum that looks like a something from Gone with The Wind. They also find the lost young girl.

They also find Paris Hilton, who kicks both of their asses! Hahaha. Before she boots Dean in the head, she says “Awesome”, then the world goes to black. We come back to find Leshi/Hilton sharpening a blade with her nails, giving a cool effect. Leshi/Hilton is taking the time to prepare the ritual right, bemusing that people used to adore her, throwing themselves at her. She explains that for years she’s been scrounging for scraps. However, when someone tripped the apocalypse, she said “What the hell, I’m tired of watching what I eat.”

Hilton/Leshi then goes into a well-written tirade about how people used to worship gods, but now people are crazy that people have substituted celebrities for gods. People used to have old-time religion, now they have US Weekly. Dean comes back saying he’s more a Penthouse Forum man, an obvious nod to Hilton’s sex tapes. Dean says she can’t eat him because they aren’t BFF’s (giggle), and that he’s never even seen House of Wax. We then cut to Jared…not Sam, but Jared, looking annoying and confused. That’s probably my favorite bit in the episode, right there. That half-second nod to Jared and Paris’ horror movie that they were in together. 

Leshi/Hilton says that while Hilton isn’t his hero, his daddy, John, is, and that the axe they brought belongs to him. While it looks like we’re gonna get to see John Winchester (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), sadly it’s a big *censormode*tease as the boys break free and fight with Leshi/Hilton, which culminates with Sam — almost gleefully, it seems — chopping Leshi/Hilton’s head off, his face covered in blood. We then see Hilton’s severed head rolling around on the ground! YAY! I’m glad the show went there. Sam then chides Dean for getting “whaled on by Paris Hilton.”

We then come back to the boys leaving their hotel, finding out that the young girl is okay from the sheriff. He’s also put an APB on Paris Hilton. Dean then says Sam was right for keeping too tight a leash on him. They both admit their faults, but Dean says he was so worried about watching his every move he didn’t see what it was doing to Sam overall. It’s a short, touching moment, but I think it will help give the boys the clean slate they’ve been looking for. Sam then says they should kick the ass of whatever is in front of them and go down fighting, on the same level, which is entirely new. Before it was older brother/younger brother, but now, hopefully, they’ll be equals in this mess. Dean then asks Sam if he wants to drive! That’s another big move on Dean’s part, and it’s good to see.

We then hear Stevie Wonder’s “Superstition” played by Jeff Beck, which leads into an extended coming soon trailer not just for next week, but it looks like three upcoming episodes, and they look AWESOME. A Japanese game show? The boys on a sit com? A woman pregnant with a half human/half demon child that CASTIEL WANTS TO KILL? Old Dean?! Grey’s Anatomy? Impala with Knight Rider lights? CSI? WTF?! I’ve no idea what exactly is going on, but it looks incredible!

 Overall, while this was a fun episode and had some great bits, it’s ultimately a throwaway episode that will be forgotten in the coming weeks, months and years. I had a problem getting fully emotionally attached to this episode or what happened in it. Except for the honesty of the brothers, it was mostly “meh.” How was Hilton? I think she was a good sport for playing a pagan god who rails on the cult of celebrity, and didn’t think she detracted from the episode at all. Regardless of that, this won’t be one of those episodes I mention when I tell others how awesome this season has been. Shame, really. 

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