How To Turn A Katy Perry Song Into A Slayer Anthem

In my version, "Every Damn Night", I picture how Buffy, or any other Slayer, deals with another night of fending off vampires, werewolves and such. Only this time, social media has exposed her, and she has to deal with a new challenge: being an accidental media hero. That explains the second verse. However, she deals with it pretty well, informing a surprised public they can believe in her. Of course, this means getting a Facebook or Google+ page, something our favorite Slayer never thought of when she first got the job.

So, try this version out, and sing along to the tune of "Last Friday Night"

You, too, Sweet….

I survived this night of doom
Wooden stakes all over the room
There’s a zombie in my bed,
He’s one of the Sleeping Dead
Werewolves passed out in the lawn
All their fur and pants are gone
Vampires cooked in a BBQ
But no bite marks or a bruise

Videos of my fight
Ended up online
I’m screwed
Oh well
Some publicity
Might be good, maybe
I hope
Blerg!

Every Damn Night
From Twilight to Breaking Dawn
I tell the vampires that it’s on
Though they’ll never will be gone
Every Damn Night
I am called the Chosen One
Have a job that’s never done
But I’m still second to none
Every Damn Night
I went slaying in the park
Killed six vampires in the dark
And they never left a mark
Every Damn Night

I’m a Supernatural Cop
And I know I just can’t stop. Whoa!
Every Damn Night
Do it all again
Every Damn Night
Do it all again

The apocalypse’s stopped, I guess
But I ruined my best dress
Had to burn that nightclub down
Where those vampires stayed in town
Watchers won’t like this at all
And they just won’t take my call
Here comes Fox and TMZ
They ask who I’m supposed to be

I’m the Slayer, you see
It’s my destiny,
which sucks, of course
But I prove my worth
And stop Hell on Earth
Or a Bad Horse, you see?

Every Damn Night
I got chosen at 15
My life’s anything but serene
But I’m better than Sam and Dean
Every Damn Night
Don’t ask if I get some nookie
My love life is not like Sookie
But I swear I am no rookie
Every Damn Night
So, be patient, if you please
This ain’t Vampire Diaries
Or that Stephanie Meyer cheese
Every Damn Night
Yeah, the risks I take are real
Should get a medal and book deal
And why not?
Every Damn Night
Do it all again
Every Damn Night
Do it all again

S-L-A-Y
S-L-A-Y
S-L-A-Y
S-L-A-Y
S-L-A-Y
S-L-A-Y
S-L-A-Y
S-L-A-Y

( Chorus )
Every Damn Night
From Twilight to Breaking Dawn
I tell the vampires that it’s on
Though they’ll never will be gone
Every Damn Night
I am called the Chosen One
Have a job that’s never done
But I’m still second to none
Every Damn Night
I went slaying in the park
Killed six vampires in the dark
And they never left a mark
Every Damn Night
I’m a Supernatural Cop
And I know I just can’t stop. Whoa!
Every Damn Night
Do it all….again

OK, I’m no Weird Al, but it’s a start

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Post Author: System Administrator

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